Excitement and disappointment in equal measure 3rd August

Emma told us to be ready to go to Rocky Boys in this morning. The trailer buzzed with excitement as we all got ready for a trip up state, packing our rucksacks for a stay of two or three days. Nicky and I kept on at those who fell into a teenage stupor.

Finally we were ready. We waited. Then we waited a bit more. To make things a little more interesting, we waited. And finally, bored to death...we waited.

Emma was run ragged and first had to drop the little ones off at the health clinic. Finally she came back in late afternoon and dropped the bombshell. She couldn't take us to Rocky Boys, as the little ones grandad had died last night in police custody. But she thought maybe her sister- Theresa (George's mum) might. We held our collective breathe and crossed our fingers... Please Theresa! ... But no. Theresa wouldn't make the trip. To say the group were bitterly disappointed would be an understatement. And of course I internalised it and felt like I had let them down, even though I was powerless to intercede. I really felt bad and a liar and a bullshitter.

This was the worst I had ever felt on a delegation.

In the evening however, Theresa took us to the Buffalo jump and the Venturers enjoyed that more than I expected. The chipmunks running all over the trees made us all laugh. The valley that stretches out beyond the jump is so tranquill, its hard to imagine it was the scene of slaughter as Cheyenne men drove the Buffalo over the cliff to a crushing death below.

Sat 4th August

I got up late today, although I was awake early enough. The trailer looked like a twister had been through it, so Nicky and I insisted that we do a tidy up. The christian boys left today. One of them was a bit...I don't know how to say it...freaky? But I couldn't tell you why. We headed out to the Sundance and spent the afternoon there.

Two of the girls were on their "moon cycle" and so were not allowed to stay at the dance. It was one of those moments of cultural diversity and a realisation of another world view. Those of us who stayed ate at the dance- fry bread, buffalo, sloppy joes, etc.

We watched the sun dance, but the Venturers were a bit noiser this time round and I had to quiet them. We returned home. Then Emma headed out again. Nicky, Eppie, Issak and Bonny went along and slept out there. I wanted to go, but one of the leaders had to stay back. I thought of leaving Tara in charge, but to be honest, I didn't think it was fair on her. In the end I went to bed early, feeling isolated and bored.