Long time no see

Its been a while since I wrote here. Where does the time go? Its like a week is a blink of an eye. And weekends? Dont even get me started!

Was supposed to go camping this weekend, but events and children's social lifes are conspiring against us. I've travelled up to London with Sally a couple of times this week. Its always good to catch up with her and chew the fat. I lent her my Civil War DVDs. She is so happy! I've known her what? 23 years. I never knew how much she loved history!

Ty is back from Oz but for how long?

Jaina is leaving Kaz' team at work. She's great. A sassy Geordie woman. Fantastic sense of humour. I know Kaz will really miss her at work.

Spring/summer has arrived with a vengence in Sheepcote Valley. The teasel, the nettles and flowers have literally burst into life. I am always amazed by it. I can understand why ancient people reverred the sun and nature.

Porthcawl

At the end of April the family, minus Jo, plus Liam Pitt and Louie went on holiday to a little holiday park in Porthcawl, South Wales. It was good to get away for a few days- even to this "Haven" type site. And before you start, I haven't got anything against Havens! Our holidays, when the kids were young, were always at Havens- the "Tiger Club", in house entertainment teams and family rooms where you had to get in early to get a decent seat! Now the kids are older, I thought we'd moved on... Obviously not!

The site was even selling mobile homes- some were very nicely done...the only alarming thing was Kaz saying we should sell the house, "when the kids leave" (WHEN THE KIDS LEAVE???? AS IF!!!!) and move into one of these! I had images of me having to sell or dump all my books. I came out in a cold sweat and felt sick!

Wales. How beautiful is Wales? I was entranced. A couple of days into the holiday we managed to drag the kids to Three Cliff Bay. Truly wonderful despite the wind coming off the sea. The beach was unspoilt, golden sand and hardly a soul there. This was my favourite part of the holiday.

Forest School Experience

On Tuesday I went off for three days to the Brecon Beacon area of South Wales to do a practical assessment for the Forest School course I'm currently completing. A local volunteer with Sussex Wildlife Trust- Renzo, kindly gave me a lift. We had a really pleasant journey down and it turned out we had a lot in common. We knew some mutual people and had been at college at Sussex and Brighton at the same time so that was cool.

We saw several Red Kites as we drove into Wales as well as Buzzards- Renzo is a bit of a twitter so something else we shared!

We got to the youth hostel at Llanddeusant at about 3-4 pm. Others soon arrived. They were almost entirely from Renzo's 5 day intensive course. They were all, except one,pre-school women workers. I felt a bit reserved, clearly Renzo knew them but I didn't. After everyone had settled in we went for a meal in a village about 5 miles (?) away. After the meal we all went back to the hostel and went to bed because we had an early start.

Wednesday we got up and departed for the wood. The day was pretty full on. We had to make shelters- but these weren't the normal lean to versions I had learned at the Woodcraft School. These involved driving uprights into the ground with pole drivers. These shelters weren't coming down in a hurry! Most of the day was taken up with making these shelters and felling trees. Towards the end of the day we had to build our own fires and cook on them.

I was working with two women called Mary and Monica. Mary was older but was game and put 100% effort and got a bit frosty if she felt she was being patronised... hopefully it wasn't me that did that. Monica was an interesting German woman with a lot of camping experience. I think we got on pretty well. The idea was to sleep in the shelters that evening. Monica and mary slept in ours- I put up a hammock and basha and slept there instead. I realised part way through the day that I had lost the mini digital video camera- it played on my mind all day. After dinner, some of the woman went back to the hostel and I went with Dez back with them. A nice guy at the hostel had found my camera and handed it in.

The following day was Burma rope bridge building and underground cooking. Before I knew it the time to depart was here and we set off back to Brighton. I passed the assessment, which was cool! Now only two other things to do and I'm finished...and hopefully qualified.

Dosing down in transit accomodation

21st and 22nd Jan 2008

There are times in all full time officers lives when we remember the maxim of JFK "Dont ask what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country." We paraphrase that comment and insert "the union" for "your country". One of my committees is a case in point.

Showing good housekeeping- probably beyond the call of of duty, the committee reject the comfort of hotels, with on suite facilities, tea making appliances and TVs in well appointed rooms. Instead the committee meets on military establishments and sleeps in the officers' mess. And don't be fooled as to the luxury that awaits you. Sore disappointment would be your only companion.

The rooms are so like halls of residence in universities as to be uncanny. King Leonides would undoubtedly find them rather Spartan even for his taste.

So when I was told that an overseas course had taken over the Officers' sleeping accomodation I was not fussed. After all, how bad could it be? Initially I thought transit accomodation was sleeping in a van (a little joke I told to myself and smirked at my clever play on words...) On obtaning the keys we realised we had 3 rooms that slept 12 in each. So realistically we'd have 4 per room.

The rooms were on the third floor of a block above the drs and dentist...not an auspicious start I think you'll agree. The key slipped into the lock and swung open on one of the worst scenes I've witnessed in many a year.

The room contained two rows of beds facing each other down its length. There were no bedside lockers, nowhere to hang clothes, half of the lamps above the beds had no light bulbs, and each bed had stacked upon it two starched sheets and two scratchy blankets. Tim Stop became very excited at reliving his youth, Rob Stevenson was philosophical and Q just laughed and said "Fuckin' hell". I was gobsmacked! I suspect that my Anglo Saxon was rather blue!

Jesus! You wouldn't think anyone would put up with this sort of thing. It was like something out of John Brown's School days. No wonder the army officer corp was/is so full of ex public school boys! The shower down the hall was obviuosly loaned from the Americans running Abu Gharib. When turned on it alternated between freezing cold and scorching hot. I'm sure it breaks the UN convention on torture.

Still. You gotta laugh. Well you can after propping up the bar with the Colonel all night and staggering home a bit tired and emotional! Q decided to do an apple pie bed on Tim and myself. Tim's voice boomed out in its baritone "Fuckin' 'ell Q, I'll swing for you, you sod!" Still he got his own back by fishing out an alarm clock handed down from Noah that ticked as loud as Big Ben and glowed so bright in the dark that I'm sure its hands were coated in nuclear waste.

And the snoring! I snore- Q snores, Tim snores and Rob snores! I woke in the middle of the night to the cacophony of manly sounds- snores, farts and slow scratching!

Tim kept calling me Private Bemrose- and marched up and down the room. I think he was thoroughly enjoying himself... still at his age you have to take the enjoyment in small things!

On the final straight

Thursday 9th August

We were awake at some point very early in the morning. We left at 7.30am and headed towards Billings. Although this has been the most stressful delegation I have ever headed, I do feel sorry to be leaving Lame Deer behind. Although I confess to be excited about returning home too.

The trip to Billings seemed to fly by (no pun intended). We said goodbye to Emma and she headed back for the Rez. There were no problems with boarding, although the wait at Minnasota was too long. I hardly slept on the flight home. I was hot, restless and had a headache.

I was seated next to a delightful little girl and her mum on the flight. The mum was English and had an American husband. She told me she still missed England. I watched her little girl curl up in her lap, and I thought how Cassie used to do that- but now she's 15 she's a bit big!

We arrived at Gatwick, itching to get off the plane, but were kept waiting on the tarmac. Is there anything more frustrating! Got through security, palmed the Venturers off on their parents and headed home with Kaz.

She let me sleep for two hours...yes two bleedin' hours! Then we went to a party. Surprisingly I managed to stay awake!

Billings, Wal-Mart and Indian Tacos

Tuesday 7th August

Rick rang this morning and invited us up to his house to eat Indian Tacos this evening. We were heading to Billings and shopping today. But first Emma had to find the little ones mum. We held our breathes once more and I prayed not to be let down.

Emma was clearly a bit stressed and I felt a little guilty adding to it. But I was spurred on by trying to make the trip memorable for the Venturers. They hadn't complained and had dealt with the disappointments really well. So I held my tongue.

Finally we headed towards Billings- a 2 hour drive. We went to a Mall and then onto Wal-Mart. The Wal-Marts are huge, selling camping, hunting and fishing equipment, DVDs, perfume, games, bikes, magazines, food etc etc. Nicky and I bought some camping kit that we wondered how we would get back!

Then we had to pick up a kid from Social Services down town who had been arrested for under age drinking. We got back to Lame Deer about 7.30pm and had Indian Tacos and Brownies at Rick's. Indian Tacos are fry bread with sort of chilli con carne in it plus salad- bit like a donner kebab!!!! Afterward we sat by the fire in Rick's yard (he lives about a mile outside Lame Deer with his nearest neighbout about half a mile away!) and chewed the fat. Emma was tired so we headed back at 10? As we drove back heat lightning lit up the sky in a way I have never seen before. We all sat outside the trailer gasping and "wow"ing like on the 5th November. The raw force of nature was stunning.

Wednesday 8th August

I got up late today, I was tired and had a headache. I checked the flight details.

When I got back to the trailer there was a friendly arguement in progress- about young people's rights? About neo imperialism and the power wars that are evolving? Er, no. Cats and dogs! Which is a better pet!! Oh well...

We went to the heritage centre at Ashland in the afternoon, had lunch and met the tribal elders who live there- its an old people's home! Heritage Centre sounds like something different. It was great to meet the elders. These men and women had a real sense of their history. The building, rooms, and gardens were beautifully kept.

I then went over to St Labre and bought Kaz a Star blanket.

Then we headed back to the trailer to start packing for tomorrow's departure. We wombled Emmas back yard and took the tents down.

Bored and pissed off in the land of my dreams

Sunday 5th August

I woke up in a bad mood this morning. A brooding cloak was thrown over me as I slept and I couldn't shake it. Emma had come back to her house and just gone back out to the Sun dance without calling in. It felt like we were inconvenient guests that she wanted to go away. So 7 of the delegation sat and twiddled our thumbs. I didn't fly these kids across the Atlantic to sit in a trailer watching shite TV!

I realised that by hook or by crook I had to ensure the Billings trip comes off. All I could think about was that I could be in Brighton at Gay Pride, drinking, eating and hanging out with friends. This did not improve my mood. But to be fair, the kids just got on with it and made the best of it. I was really impressed and proud of them.

Monday 6th August

I was still wound up this morning. So I bagged the rubbish and took it over to the dumpster. I then went into the club and accessed my email. Emma was there and I decided I couldn't let this go on. But it was a delicate situation. I felt frustrated and a bit angry. So I asked Emma what was happening today, and that leaving teenagers to fester in a trailer on a Rez with nothing to do was a recipe for disaster. Emma looked embarrassed and explained she had been left to organise the delegation, make federal funding bids and do funding reports. She was even paying for food etc for us from her own pocket.

My anger vanished immediately and I told her it was out of the question that she paid for food etc herself. I said either this is, or it is not a delegation, and it was the club that should pay. She spread her hands in helplessness and admitted the club had no money. I told her we had contingency money and we'd sort ourselves out. She looked so relieved I realised that this had obviously been playing on her mind.

In the afternoon we all piled into the minibus and headed out to the back country. Emma had been a fire fighter and knew the back country well. We drove along a rutted track through wooded areas recently burnt down by forest fire and arrived at a trail that ended high on a mountain side and looked down to the Tongue River, which forms one boundary of the Rez. Then Emma drove us back toward Morning Star View where we picked buckets of Choke Cherries for the elders- who Emma said loved them, and reminded them of their childhoods. Then we headed further into the back country to a large fire watchers tower. There were spectacular views from its ricketty platform.

We headed back to Lame Deer through all sorts of paths that appear to be unmapped. In the end we reappeared on the Highway near Jim Town- the bar on the Rez' boundary that drinkers use- coz Lame Deer is "Dry" ie it is illegal to drink alcohol on the Rez. We got back quite late, watched a DVD and went to bed.

Today was a much better day.

Excitement and disappointment in equal measure 3rd August

Emma told us to be ready to go to Rocky Boys in this morning. The trailer buzzed with excitement as we all got ready for a trip up state, packing our rucksacks for a stay of two or three days. Nicky and I kept on at those who fell into a teenage stupor.

Finally we were ready. We waited. Then we waited a bit more. To make things a little more interesting, we waited. And finally, bored to death...we waited.

Emma was run ragged and first had to drop the little ones off at the health clinic. Finally she came back in late afternoon and dropped the bombshell. She couldn't take us to Rocky Boys, as the little ones grandad had died last night in police custody. But she thought maybe her sister- Theresa (George's mum) might. We held our collective breathe and crossed our fingers... Please Theresa! ... But no. Theresa wouldn't make the trip. To say the group were bitterly disappointed would be an understatement. And of course I internalised it and felt like I had let them down, even though I was powerless to intercede. I really felt bad and a liar and a bullshitter.

This was the worst I had ever felt on a delegation.

In the evening however, Theresa took us to the Buffalo jump and the Venturers enjoyed that more than I expected. The chipmunks running all over the trees made us all laugh. The valley that stretches out beyond the jump is so tranquill, its hard to imagine it was the scene of slaughter as Cheyenne men drove the Buffalo over the cliff to a crushing death below.

Sat 4th August

I got up late today, although I was awake early enough. The trailer looked like a twister had been through it, so Nicky and I insisted that we do a tidy up. The christian boys left today. One of them was a bit...I don't know how to say it...freaky? But I couldn't tell you why. We headed out to the Sundance and spent the afternoon there.

Two of the girls were on their "moon cycle" and so were not allowed to stay at the dance. It was one of those moments of cultural diversity and a realisation of another world view. Those of us who stayed ate at the dance- fry bread, buffalo, sloppy joes, etc.

We watched the sun dance, but the Venturers were a bit noiser this time round and I had to quiet them. We returned home. Then Emma headed out again. Nicky, Eppie, Issak and Bonny went along and slept out there. I wanted to go, but one of the leaders had to stay back. I thought of leaving Tara in charge, but to be honest, I didn't think it was fair on her. In the end I went to bed early, feeling isolated and bored.

More Adventures at St Labre 1st August

I was up at 7am again this morning. Nicky was already out running. I made tea and climbed the hill behind the trailer. The air was still and cool in the early morning. Lame Deer, lay like a teenager, underneath its duvet of sleepiness. Dogs barked and the odd car crawled along Cheyenne Avenue. I sat a while drinking it all in. Finally I walked down the hill and over to the club.

We went to Ashland in the afternoon and visited the museum , church, replica of the first Missionary School on the site and the modern High School. The wooden log cabin of the last century contrasted starkly with the school that's used today. The school staff were busy preparing the buildings for the return of the students. The smell of floor polish was overwhelming. On the walls were framed photos of the various years graduates, back as far as the 1940/50s. Each face telling a story of hope or expectation- it was looking at a physical expression of Blake's songs of innocence and experience.

News arrived that Deshanda had gone into labour (and I couldn't help remembering leading our first exchange to Lame Deer and meeting Deshanda as a 13 year old) and Emma will be a great grand mother! Emma quipped that all she needed now was a great grandpa!

Emma told me the story of Kino- the fruit machine at the casino. Her grand children would ask where she was going, and she'd tell them she was off to visit Kino. After a while they said to her, "Grandma, we don't like you going out with Kino. Everytime you go out with him, he takes all your money!" They thought Kino was her boyfriend!

The arrow I made was hoisted onto the sundance lodgepole and Emma says that the dancers were really pleased with it.

We didn't see Emma tonight as she was visiting Dee in the hospital. So we cooked nachos and watched "Little Miss Sunshine". I talked to George on the telephone tonight.

Thurs 2nd Aug

I woke up early again thinking of home and the last time I was here. How different everything is this time.

Otis looks like he's been bitten by a Wolf spider and has a large painfully red blotch on his arm. We went over to St Labre again today and I took the opportunity to buy some books. While I was at the shops with Nicky, Kaz rang Cassie and lost the opportunity to speak to her.

As I walked back from the shop a couple of horses meandered across the highway as casual as you like. Everyone is excited and looking forward to going to Rocky Boys Rez in the north of Montana visiting George.

Hang in out in Lame Deer

Monday 30th July

Woke up before 7am. Given this trip counts as a "holiday" in Kaz's eyes I coukdn't believe I was up so early. Nicky was obviously feeling the same because she was out running! We got up and I pushed the group over to the Club for breakfast. Things have changed since last time we were here. The computer suite has ceased to exist, so I had to use a PC in the office to email Kaz. In the afternoon we were loaded onto an American school bus and went to Ashland. The Catholic school of St Labre is there and has a swimming pool.



On the way there we arrived too early so the bus driver headed off along a road. Before I knew it I was staring down at an Amish settlement.



A young girl had taken a shine to Issak. He wasn't impressed, so naturally he was wound up by the group about it! The Venturers enjoyed the swimming and the chance to cool down. As I stood outside the Swimming pool building a pony meandered along and started to eat grass along the sides of the pavement.



Liam Pitt found marshmellow spread and Peter thought he'd died and gone to heaven. As we pulled up by our trailer Rick arrived and invited us to his house one evening next week. Sharing with the Christian boys was an experience. They had tried to be helpful by drying our clothes in the dryer on full heat... Nicky freaked out! The rest of the night was pretty quiet.

Tuesday 31st July

I was awake again before 7am. The group had breakfast at the club again. The trailer was looking like a bomb had hit it. I made the Venturers clear it up. You could hear their protests all the way over in Billings! The activity was swimming again. Some Venturers stayed at the club and roller bladed instead. Emma had askedNicky to make an arrow for the Sun Dance. But at the last moment she was told that she couldn't- being a woman, The actual Sun Dance is a very male ceremony. So I had to make the arrow. I didn't do a bad job considering the arrowhead was only ornamental and split the arrow shaft. In the evening we cooked for ourselves in the trailer. Katie ate like she had hollow legs! The group was starting to jell together. Latter with no activity planned we hired two DVDs- "23" and "Little Miss Sunshine". Everyone laughed at the end of LMS and felt pretty good.

The club is undergoing one of its periodic financial crisis. There were scarcely any workers employed at the club and the teenage programme has suffered.

Montana- further details

29th July

I woke up at 5.45am to the whir of the fan, pushing air around like a teenager told to wipe down a table. Its been hard to sleep, thinking of Kaz and home. I put on my MP3 player and jotted notes in my notebook. Everyone else seemed to be stirring too. The morning was spent bumming around a bit.

In the afternoon we all went off to the site of the battle of the Little Big Horn (or Greasy Grass as Native Americans call it). I have been there before (three times in fact) except this time the monument to the Native Americans who fell defending their land was finally finished. Even its design compared to the nineteenth century monument to the 7th Cavalry highlighted a different attitude. The earlier one is phallic, squatting on top of "last stand hill", dominating the landscape in its aggressive assertion of the "heroism" of Custer and his men. The Native American monument is altogether more understated, sitting back from the main path and being part underground so that you walk into it and come into its circle. Each tribe that fought is remembered and the stone is illustrated with images drawn in a traditional tribal manner. The monument engendered an entirely different feeling.

The site is dotted all over with white markers. These point to the places that the bodies of 7th Cavalry troopers were found. Again only in the last couple of years have the Park Authorities put down markers in the same was for Native Americans who fell defending their village. Symbolically they are in red stone. I was shocked to discover a little way off one of these markers near the road another new marker. It was for all the 7th cavalry horses that fell in the battle. It was as if the Authorities spitefully added this and I couldn't help feeling it was a snub to the tribes that had lobbied for so long for recognition of the battle from their perspective.

After the visit we drove across the highway to "The Trading Post"- a kind of shop selling books, jewelery, t shirts etc. The Venturers spent some time there looking for gifts for home. I found a postcard allegedly of Crazy Horse- although it is said no one ever managed to take his photograph.

We went back to Lame Deer via Harden because there was a forest fire. We had to stop at a supermarket. Latter some of us went to help set up a Sun Dance site at Emma's request. We drove towards Birney and then pulled of the main road, across bumpy rutted tracks, We entered a wood and slowly made our way through the magically landscape to the site. We helped put up some tents and then sat around while Emma "visited" with her friend Shirley. We returned to the trailer about midnight. As we were returning to Lame Deer the sun was setting, it was a huge ball of orange fire in the sky, so clear you could almost reach out and grasp it. The moon soon came up and caste its silver glow across the rez picking out the trees and hills, a timeless vista that remembered the old ways when the people were free to roam and lived their life without recourse to the white man.